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Set Aside Foolish Things

April 1, 2009

Board Adopts Tighter Dress Code Standards for Annual Meeting

In a unanimous vote, the NFCA Board of Directors approved a motion to enforce strict dress code standards on attendees of the 2009 Annual Meeting, scheduled for September 17-19 in San Antonio.  The requirements include Stetsons, pearl-snapped shirts, string ties, blue jeans (boot cut, of course), and boots for both men and women.  This is commonly referred to as “a Texas Tuxedo” among the locals.  Board Chair Barbara Cheaney of Catholic Life Insurance in San Antonio, indicated that those members who fail to comply with the dress code requirements would meet the same fate as the defenders of the Alamo.  “We take fashion seriously down here,” said Cheaney.  “As long as you’re in Texas, you better look the part.”

Finance Committee Chair to Attempt New Investment Strategy at Presidents Section Meeting

NFCA Finance Committee Chair Jim Stoker plans on testing a new investment strategy this week when he takes the association’s long term reserves and puts them all on “Red 17” at his favorite roulette table at the Mirage Hotel in Las Vegas, where the Secretaries and Presidents Section Meetings are being held.  “We’re earning a paltry return from our conservative investments in CDs and other insured vehicles,” said Stoker.  “If we’re going to have enough money to fight the looming battle over the tax exemption, we need to take some calculated risks.”  Asked what he’d do if he hits it big on the first spin, Stoker was quick to respond:  “Let it ride, of course.”

NFCA Board Member to Replace Stallone in Next Rambo Sequel

Board member Mel Rambo of Equitable Reserve Association in Neenah, Wisconsin has been selected after a month-long search to replace aging star Sylvester Stallone in the next installment of the “Rambo” movie series.  The film, which is scheduled to go into production next month is titled: “Rambo XXVII: Deader in the Land of Cheddar.”  Rambo (Mel, not Sly) is currently training for the part which calls for him to defend the dairy state against a terrorist intent on introducing Mad Cow disease to the bovine population.  Commenting on the role, Rambo said “All I gotta do is act naturally.”

Happy April Fools Day, folks.  Please feel free to add your latest prank news flash to the list.  More next week on the developments from the NFCA Presidents and Secretaries Section meetings…